Saturday, April 30, 2011

Frustrating my-optic nerve...


Call me stupid. I went to Etisalat again.  I took down my 18 month old complaint to ask them to follow up on it (and try to get the outstanding amount taken off my account). But first I dropped in on sales to see what the status of fibre optic cable was. The last time I applied, some 6 months ago, I got told I could have fibre and they booked a technician to come. Unfortunately he went to Khalifa City A, instead of Abu Dhabi. And consequently my application got cancelled. They wouldn’t reinstate my application unless I visited in person, even though it was their mistake. The landline phone number the application was registered against was clearly in Abu Dhabi and different from my time in Khalifa. I love the way a phone company can’t handle business competently over the phone. 
Anyway since I was at the Etisalat HO I went to the surveyor and got him to check my location, and yes, it was still listing me with an incorrect address. He updated my record and assured me I could have fibre. He wrote various cryptic numbers on the bottom of an application form and sent me off to sales. At the sales desk I was told that there was no problem with getting the connection and he convinced me to go for a faster speed which would cost about the same as I was paying for DSL at the moment. So I signed up on Monday for a 16mb fibre optic connection wondering just how long it would take this time.  Next, I went upstairs to the customer service department to ask about my outstanding issue. There I was told that it was so old that they couldn’t look at it in the system but he took a photocopy of my complaint form and promised to pass it on to his supervisor in the morning. 6 dirham in parking fees (two hours premium) and I was on my way home with the promise of action on two fronts.
To my astonishment I was called at 4pm the next day to see if a technician could come to install my fibre connection that afternoon. I asked how long it would take and was told it would only take about an hour. I was very suspicious at that point as it seemed impossible to do everything in such a time but arranged for them to come at 5:30 and hastily arranged for my wife to take no.2 daughter down to her drum lesson (a taxi service I usually fulfil). The crew turned up pretty much on time (to my surprise) but did need quite a bit of phone coaching to find the actual house. When they arrived they spend about five minutes wandering around asking where the box was. To which I responded that they were here to put in the cable and the box. No, they replied they were just going to configure the “box”. I pointed out to them that someone needed to dig a trench and lay some fibre before they could do that and that they’d better get started. No, no that is a different crew. They would put in a report and another crew would come. If they hadn’t come in a couple of days I should call 101. And off they went. Useless.
Again to my surprise, the next day (Wednesday) I got a call to say that the next team was ready to come and could they do so at 3pm.  I checked that my wife would be home after picking up kids from school and agreed.  This next lot turned up and wanted to know from my wife where the ‘box’ was. She called me just as I was starting a class and I could only briefly relay to her that they were to install the box themselves, that was why they were there, to lay cable and install the fibre terminal.  Now apparently they spent a little time then went away and came back with another crew who told my wife that she could have the “box” today if she paid 1,100aed. She called me and I told her categorically that we did not have to pay. The technicians left without doing anything. My class finished at 5 and I drove straight to Etisalat. 3 aed premium parking. I got the same customer service agent that I’d talked with two days previously. I asked him first why I hadn’t been called back by his supervisor over that case. No answer to that. I then told him that we had been asked to pay for our installation. He was apologetic and said he’d heard of others being asked to pay 500 and that his supervisor had been able to sort it out. He said that they were independent contractors and he would get to the bottom of it and I would be called back by his supervisor – yeah right, like the last time I thought.
Thursday arrives and of course I don’t get called back by said supervisor, so I call 101. I relay the whole sad story and get a sympathetic hearing and a claim of shock that we had been asked for money. However, he said all I could do was wait for the technical team to now act on the installation. I pointed out that I was worried that now that I had not paid that I would get subjected to extra delays by the contractor. I also pointed out that in actual fact I have been waiting for 18 months for the fibre installation, as that was the source of my issue from originally moving into the location. Back then they had tried to cancel my DSL connection transfer because they were expecting to put in fibre but I insisted that I needed the DSL until the fibre actually arrived, and that since a DSL connection was already live in the house it should just be assigned to me.
So here we are again, time is marching on. So far I have had to be in contact with Etisalat everyday of this week. I have effectively wasted 2 hours per day dealing with them.  I think I might need to start charging them my daily rate plus transport and parking fees. Certainly this time around I am going to keep a closer note of the actual progress.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

You know you’ve been in Abu Dhabi too long when:


  • You use your hazard lights to indicate to other drivers that it is foggy
  • You think that leaving trash in the park helps keep someone employed
  • You think that getting hot water from the cold tap is saving you money on your heating bill
  • You visit your home town on holiday and sit in the car waiting for someone to come and fill your petrol tank for you
  • You receive a call and wait for the other person to talk before you say anything
  • You can drive between two lanes of parked cars with less than 2cm to spare on either side
  • You think rain is annoying because it makes your car dirty
  • You call Etisalat for the fun of it
  • You drive around roundabouts while on the phone and smoking at the same time
  • You think the left lane is a “fast” lane on urban roads
  • You think answering the phone in the cinema is okay
  • You run across a six lane road within 50m of a pedestrian underpass
  • You park parallel on an angle park and vice versa
  • You have no qualms about driving over a 20cm curb to park on the footpath
  • You start putting your phone number on the front dash of your car when you double park
  • You don’t put your phone number on the front dash of your car when you double park
  • As a non-Muslim you say Insha’Allah for the first time
  • You swing across four lanes of traffic to take an exit that is only 50m ahead and you knew it was coming
  • You start recognising women by their handbags
  • You know that the car approaching from behind will undertake you on the right just because it is an FJ Cruiser
  • You noticed that all the Hummers disappeared when they became a Chinese car
  • You have received more baseball caps than you have room for
  • Your Emirates ID card expires before anyone has ever asked for it
  • You remember that they were going to get rid of gold and white taxis
  • You shake hands with the same people more than twice a day
  • You have 3 mobile phones and no landline
  • You listen to the radio to see who else is suffering in the traffic
  • You haven’t paid attention to a weather forecast for 3 months
  • You choose the newspaper to subscribe to on the basis of the freebies offered
  • You don’t notice wall tiles used as flooring anymore
  • You naturally assume a fire escape will be deadlocked
  • You think starting school at 7:30am is a good idea
  • You think that a person picking up rubbish on a highway in the desert 20km from the nearest settlement is  unremarkable
  • You don’t notice children lying in the back window of a moving car anymore ...
  • You see an infant on a driver’s lap at 100kmph and don’t wonder who is steering (cause you know the kid is...)
  • You think the Mawaqif is helping reduce the parking problems in Abu Dhabi
  • Your tenancy agreement runs out without anyone noticing.
  • You think 8,000 for a school trip is reasonable
  • You start saying TGIT
  • You know the meaning of PBUH without thinking
  • You remember riding the bus for free
  • You remember when there were no buses
  • You know your way around Mussafah
  • You pay off your car loan
  • You don’t want to go to a particular country on holiday because it will be cold
  • You forget what snow feels like
  • You think skiing is an indoor sport
  • You know why the snow zone in Marina Mall isn’t finished
  • You have learned more Tagalog words than Arabic
  • Your GPS shows you in the desert when you are on a 6 lane highway
  • You decide that indicators are optional
  • You think that 140kmph is slow for a motorway
  • You eat breakfast at 9am
  • You know where to buy a piece of wood
  • You know where the National Theatre is
  • You think nothing of making a U turn from the middle lane
  • You feel nostalgic when you walk on carpet
  • You forget how to wash your own car
  • You check your traffic fines on line
  • You think that recycling means putting rubbish in a bin
  • Your running machine lies unused in the corner
  • You can’t see your toes anymore
  • You agree that unlimited use can be fairly limited