You know you’ve been in Abu Dhabi too long when:

• You use your hazard lights to indicate to other drivers that it is foggy
• You think that leaving trash in the park helps keep someone employed
• You think that getting hot water from the cold tap is saving you money on your heating bill
• You visit your home town on holiday and sit in the car waiting for someone to come and fill your petrol tank for you
• You receive a call and wait for the other person to talk before you say anything
• You can drive between two lanes of parked cars with less than 2cm to spare on either side
• You think rain is annoying because it makes your car dirty
• You call Etisalat for the fun of it
• You drive around roundabouts while on the phone and smoking at the same time
• You think the left lane is a “fast” lane on urban roads
• You think answering the phone in the cinema is okay
• You run across a six lane road within 50m of a pedestrian underpass
• You park parallel on an angle park and vice versa
• You have no qualms about driving over a 20cm curb to park on the footpath
• You start putting your phone number on the front dash of your car when you double park
• You don’t put your phone number on the front dash of your car when you double park
• As a non-Muslim you say Insha’Allah for the first time
• You swing across four lanes of traffic to take an exit that is only 50m ahead and you knew it was coming
• You start recognising women by their handbags
• You know that the car approaching from behind will undertake you on the right just because it is an FJ Cruiser
• You noticed that all the Hummers disappeared when they became a Chinese car
• You have received more baseball caps than you have room for
• Your Emirates ID card expires before anyone has ever asked for it
• You remember that they were going to get rid of gold and white taxis
• You shake hands with the same people more than twice a day
• You have 3 mobile phones and no landline
• You listen to the radio to see who else is suffering in the traffic
• You haven’t paid attention to a weather forecast for 3 months
• You choose the newspaper to subscribe to on the basis of the freebies offered
• You don’t notice wall tiles used as flooring anymore
• You naturally assume a fire escape will be deadlocked
• You think starting school at 7:30am is a good idea
• You think that a person picking up rubbish on a highway in the desert 20km from the nearest settlement is  unremarkable
• You don’t notice children lying in the back window of a moving car anymore ...
• You see an infant on a driver’s lap at 100kmph and don’t wonder who is steering (cause you know the kid is...)
• You think the Mawaqif is helping reduce the parking problems in Abu Dhabi
• Your tenancy agreement runs out without anyone noticing.
• You think 8,000 for a school trip is reasonable
• You start saying TGIT
• You know the meaning of PBUH without thinking
• You remember riding the bus for free
• You remember when there were no buses
• You know your way around Mussafah
• You pay off your car loan
• You don’t want to go to a particular country on holiday because it will be cold
• You forget what snow feels like
• You think skiing is an indoor sport
• You know why the snow zone in Marina Mall isn’t finished
• You have learned more Tagalog words than Arabic
• Your GPS shows you in the desert when you are on a 6 lane highway
• You decide that indicators are optional
• You think that 140kmph is slow for a motorway
• You eat breakfast at 9am
• You know where to buy a piece of wood
• You know where the National Theatre is
• You think nothing of making a U turn from the middle lane
• You feel nostalgic when you walk on carpet
• You forget how to wash your own car
• You check your traffic fines on line
• You think that recycling means putting rubbish in a bin
• Your running machine lies unused in the corner
• You can’t see your toes anymore
• You agree that unlimited use can be fairly limited